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Learning To
Finally Love Yourself
With
Bianca Rodriguez
INTERVIEW QUESTIONS.
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As a part
of my series about “Learning To Finally Love Yourself” I had the
pleasure to interview… Ronna E Krozy, EdD,
RN. Dr. Krozy (or Ronna) is a retired university professor of community
health nursing with a doctoral degree in Health Education.
She has lectured and published professionally on many topics
related to her field of nursing.
However, she was interviewed in relation to her activism as a
social nudist and her involvement in the American Association for Nude
Recreation. Ronna has been
member of the American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR) for over
20 years and a Trustee of the AANR Board since 2016.
She currently serves as the Chair of Public Relations for AANR as
well as for the Eastern Region.
As a strong advocate for educating the public about social
nudism, she has co-written articles in
Natural Awakenings, a
holistic health magazine, and has appeared on TV.
She continues to write many articles for
The Bulletin, AANR's magazine
for members. These include the 7 part series entitled "How Long Should
You Wait to Tell the World You're a Nudist?" available to the public on
AANR's website www.aanr.com.
Thank you
so much for joining us! I’d love to begin by asking you to give us the
backstory as to what brought you to this specific career path. As a nurse,
health educator and parent, I have always believed that the body is an
amazing machine and beautiful in the many forms it comes in.
Unfortunately, we live in a society that judges body beauty in
ways that are unreachable for the vast majority.
Supermodel images of men and women have made many
people...including girls as young as 6!....unhappy with the way they
look. Beginning in
the early 1980's, I traveled with a friend to St. Barts in the French
West Indies where I discovered toplessness and found it interesting and
comfortable (though my friend didn't!).
But my first real experience involved my relationship in the
early 90's with a nudist who was a member of Dyer Woods in Rhode Island.
Even at my first encounter, surrounded by an array of unclothed people
sitting by the pond, I had neither anxiety nor hesitation to become 'one
of them.' And I joined AANR. Some years
later, after meeting the man I would eventually marry, I mentioned that
I was a nudist and missed the friends and the way of life I had enjoyed.
Fortunately, he said it wouldn't be a problem. So...I immediately
booked visits to a few naturist resorts. My husband was perfectly
comfortable. When we visited Solair, a family nudist resort in
Woodstock, CT. we fell in love with the place and decided to buy a cabin
there. We have remained active members for 17 years.
Our Club requires its members to join AANR, so we both became
members.
Involvement with Nudism Advocacy and
Public Relations From almost the
beginning of our membership at Solair, I became active in recruitment of
members through the Membership Committee and then in public education
about nudism via our Marketing, Communications, PR Committee. In 2005, I
agreed to appear in a DVD to be used for advertising purposes.
It was a fun experience although in retrospect, it could have
used professional direction.
Several years later, we had the benefit of a PR specialist who
subsequently became President of AANR.
This was of tremendous value as I headed up the training sessions
for members being interviewed for a televised report about Solair on NBC
Channel 30, Hartford.
Involvement with AANR (American
Association for Nude Recreation) In 2009, I
volunteered with AANR-East (one of AANR's 7 regions) on their Public
Relations team. Shortly
thereafter, I received the shattering news of my only brother having
terminal cancer and was not able to continue on.
However, in July 2018, I was appointed as the AANR-East PR Chair. For a number of
years, I had been asked to consider running for an AANR office but had
decided not to undertake any activity until I could devote my full time
to it. In 2015, I agreed to run as a Club Trustee and was elected for
the 2016-2018 term and re-elected 2018-2020.
I have also agreed to serve as AANR PR Chair that began in August
2018.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you hope that
they might help people along their path to self-understanding or a
better sense of wellbeing in their relationships?
I am excited to be planning a national day to support nudism and help
nudists share with others their way of life. Frankly this is one of my
dreams...to see the day when all nudists can genuinely and truthfully be
who they are without the fear of people finding out. A time when they
no longer experience unwarranted consequences such as job loss,
stereotyping or having their parental judgment questioned.
When everyone understands that social nudism offers a wholesome,
healthy, family-friendly, safe and enjoyable way to live.
Do you have
a personal story that you can share with our readers about your
struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and
self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change
regarding your feelings of self acceptance?
Growing up, my
family was poor and I was chubby and self-conscious. Even when we moved
from the inner city to a 'better neighborhood,' I never felt I could
compete with the well-dressed, athletic and pretty girls. In high
school, despite being an excellent student, I socialized with the rough
crowd and got into petty mischief.
Fortunately, I also decided to become a nurse and my grades got
me into a hospital nursing program.
Academically, I did quite well but I never thought people liked
me and I didn't join the clubs and social activities others did. Then,
before finishing nurses' training, I married someone I'd known only 5
months. I was just 19 and ended up divorced at 22 with a 2-yr-old.
This upset my family (no one had
ever divorced!) and crushed
my hopes of further education...but only temporarily. This time I didn't
give up. I knew juggling parenthood with school and work would not be
easy. It would take time, energy, commitment and more but I began
seeking and winning scholarships and at age 27, I was accepted into a BS
program in nursing. When I graduated with top honors, having overcome
many roadblocks, I finally realized that I could achieve my
goals...lofty as they were.
I had decided I would earn my masters and doctoral degrees as well as
eventually owning my own home...something my family was never able to
do. I achieved all of these
through strength and perserverance, attributes that I realized came from
within. Along the way I was hired to teach nursing at a prestigious
university where I remained for over 45 years and was able to help young
students develop confidence and competence. Self assurance and
experience have allowed me to live the life that I see fit without the
need for approval from others. Becoming a 'loud and proud' social nudist
is just one piece of evidence.
According
to a recent study cited in
Cosmopolitan,
in the US, only about 28 percent of men and 26 percent of women are
“very satisfied with their appearance.”
Could you talk about what some of the causes might be, as well as
the consequences? In our society,
the standards of beauty and the personal attributes upon which people
are judged are unattainable by most. Supermodels, whether male or
female, are showcased as the 'beautiful people.' Even their pictures in
magazines are altered.
From the clothes
that you wear, the car you drive, your symbols of wealth...people are
rated on external characteristics. Body shaming and weight
bias are ever present.
Youth is venerated; aging, something to fight against at all cost. The consequences
are many. Weight loss
programs, special diets, diet pills, cosmetics, body altering surgery
and fat-reducing gadgets command billions of dollars from people trying
to conform to these unrealistic standards.
For some, improvement of health is warranted.
But for many, it is an attempt to look differently or appear
young. When one is
dissatisfied with one's appearance, it can be self destructive.
Poor self image can foster depression, anorexia, steroid taking,
bulimia, anger, jealousy, and suicidal ideation.
It can lead to perfectionism and fear of failure, to using drugs
or alcohol to numb one's feelings and to destructive, risky behavior
because one may act in unhealthy ways to win the love or approval of
another.
As cheesy
as it might sound to truly understand and “love yourself,” can you share
with our readers a few reasons why it’s so important?
Feeling
unattractive can lead to feeling unworthy of love.
Self love promotes confidence and the tendency to make good
choices, especially in relationships. To love oneself allows you to love
others and to seek relationships that are healthy and fulfilling. Self
love leads to high self esteem...where you can enter a room with people
you don't know and feel at ease, where you can state an opinion and be
open to disagreement without taking it personally and where the physical
imperfections that we all have are accepted as "That's just who I am."
Why do you
think people stay in mediocre relationships? What advice would you give
to our readers regarding this?
As noted before, poor self esteem or negative self image can make one
question worthiness of another's love.
It can cause 'settling' because seeking a higher quality person
isn't seen as possible. It
fosters insecurity and the fear that you will lose your partner.
It can interfere with personal or sexual intimacy and trust.
Some ideas to combat this can include consciously stopping
negative thoughts, having friends who encourage you, reading self
improvement 'how to' books, focusing on and identifying your good
qualities, and counseling.
When we
talk about self-love and understanding we don’t necessarily mean blindly
loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Many times
self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough
questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves
to be better not only for ourselves but our relationships. What are some
of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort
we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves? Can
you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how
you needed to make changes?
(I may have alluded to this in my backstory)
So many
don’t really know how to be alone, or are afraid of it. How important is
it for us to have, and practice, that capacity to truly be with
ourselves and be alone (literally or metaphorically)?
N/A
How does
achieving a certain level of self-understanding and self-love then
affect your ability to connect with and deepen your relationships with
others?
1. When you can be your
genuine self, you do not have to waste energy pretending to be someone
or something you are not.
2. You will be more
trustworthy and more empathic in the eyes of others.
3. Self love leads to self
respect and others will respect that quality in you.
4. When you can do an
honest self appraisal, you can admit your mistakes and forgive yourself.
5. You will also be better
at tolerating disappointment and not giving up.
In your
experience, what should a) individuals and b) society, do to help people
better understand themselves and accept themselves?
Seeing that my main reason for being interviewed is to explain how
social nudity contributes to the well-being of individuals, families and
groups, I would like to outline just some of the benefits:
1. When we feel good about
ourselves and accept others for who they are, such as occurs in the
naturist world, we create a healthy environment of like-minded folks who
care about one another.
2. Nudists accept
individuals for who they are and not what they look like...irrespective
of size, color, shape or body condition.
We can be our genuine selves and allow others to be likewise. It
is not uncommon to hear women, in particular, express a sense of self
comfort and confidence that they never before believed were possible and
wish they had embraced nudism when they were much younger.
3. Nudism is considered the
great equalizer because uncovering the body removes the symbols of
status such as labels, titles and uniforms.
4. Many of us grow up
believing parts of our body are shameful.
Naturism allows freedom of shame.
Everybody has a body...no one part is more or less shameful than
another.
5. Nudists make up a cross
section of all society, with the common denominator the ability to be
unclothed in appropriate places and the understanding that wholesome,
family-friendly behavior is expected. We
are caring and protective of one another and especially of our children.
Society needs to be fully informed and accepting of this healthy
way of life and to shed the myths and misunderstandings that cause harm
to those who practice nude recreation.
6. Social nudity or
naturism makes clear that nudity and sex are not synonymous.
There is nothing provocative about gardening, playing cards or
pitching horseshoes nude.
Rather, there is, for some, a spiritual connection with the earth, the
elements or a creator.
7. Children who grow up as
nudists are not curious about what 'real' bodies look like at any age.
Nudism might even be the antidote to 'sexting.'
What are 5
strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love
for yourself, that our readers might learn from? Could you please give a
story or example for each?
1. I have reached a balance
between thinking about who I used to be and who I am now.
While I no longer am a university professor, I have rechanneled
my energy into writing and working to promote understanding and
acceptance of social nudism.
2. I try to eat well, stay
active and live a healthy life.
But I know that I cannot stop time from creating changes to my
body. So I embrace the
wrinkles, bulges, stretch marks, scars and varicosities as a sign that I
am still alive, albeit aging.
I have earned those badges of life and if others find them ugly,
well, who cares!!
3. I reflect upon the love
of my family, especially my grandchildren (3 grandsons in their 20's
have participated in our camp activities).
I spend as much time with them
as possible and stay connected with friends, whether near or far,
whether newer or older.
4. I give freely of my time
and advice (wanted or not!) to those in need.
For example, everyone knows I am a nurse at Solair.
I have provided first aid, shots, dressings, information about
medecines and diseases, and looked at lesions in all sorts of places!
5. And despite being a
die-hard nudist, I like to dress well.
However, I no longer need fancy clothes with fancy
labels...second hand shopping and finding bargains bring me great
satisfaction. I still like
to have my nails and hair done.
And I take special care or my skin...nudists like all over tans
but sun safety is important and I protect myself as much as possible.
What are
your favorite books, podcasts, or resources for self-psychology,
intimacy, or relationships? What do you love about each one and how does
it resonate with you?
I enjoy reading about strong women such as Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Michelle
Obama and The Help.
It is always inspiring to learn about their challenges and how
they have overcome them. I
also enjoy books with a cultural perspective such as
The Storyteller's Secret by
Sejal Bedani that tells a poignant story about a traditional woman's
role in India. As for
psychology, I recommend Stephen Covey's
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People...it provides much food for reflection.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement
that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of
people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…
I would destigmatize nudism
by broadcasting everywhere that social nudism is perfectly natural and
normal. It fosters freedom
from body shame, the right to be nude in appropriate places, a sense of
community, a safe, wholesome, family-friendly way of life, and the need
to do less laundry!
Can you
please give us your favorite
"Life Lesson Quote" that you use to guide yourself by?
This is difficult because there are many!
And they are my own! And I have foisted them on my family,
friends and students! So
here's a sampling.........
1.
It is better to try and to fail,
than never to have tried because it would be far worse not knowing how
it would have turned out.
I have learned to be a positive risk taker because unlike the
Megabucks, there are usually just two outcomes...you win or you lose.
2.
There are two ways to create
change: Influence the
leadership or become the leadership.
Taking leadership however requires accepting the responsibilities
and reactions that come with it.
In many of my endeavors, I have spearheaded action for difficult
causes (i.e., promoting smoke free environments, instituting seat belt
laws, changing educational policy and nudism advocacy).
3.
Nothing's impossible with the
right approach. I am
the eternal optimist.
Rather than giving up because something seems difficult, I enlist
people's help when necessary and try to think creatively and outside the
box until finding a solution.
And if after concerted effort something doesn't work out, I
revert to the first quote.
4.
Be your own image maker.
This especially pertains to nudism.
Be your own person.
Don't buy into false ideals or compare yourself with others.
Be proud of who you are including the body that you own.
Thank you
so much for your time and for your inspiring insights!
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